Calling

"..our concern with truth is an inevitable expression of our concern with God. If God exists, then he is the measure of all things, and what he thinks about all things is the measure of what we should think. Not to care about truth is not to care about God. To love God passionately is to love truth passionately. Being God-centered in life means being truth-driven in ministry. What is not true is not of God. What is false is anti-God. Indifference to the truth is indifference to the mind of God. Pretense is rebellion against reality, and what makes reality reality is God. Our concern with truth is simply an echo of our concern with God. And all this is rooted in God's concern with God, or God's passion for the glory of God"
-John Piper, God Passion for His Glory

So that quote has nothing really to do with this post, but I recently read it on a plane as I was diving into Piper talking about Jonathon Edwards and then some real Jonathan Edwards. It has been a good read so far.

This past week I was in Anaheim for National Intern Training with KPMG. (note: Steve you should like KPMG, they are MLB's biggest sponsor of the RBI program-Reviving Baseball in Inner Cities). Anyway, it was a good time, but also a reflective time.

Topic One:
I had beer at the bar/lounge of the hotel in the evening a few times. Now this was pretty much the first time, other than once last week after work, of having a beer in a social outing with people as a means to relate. I still don't know what I think about it. Drinking a beer or two is not wrong. But I felt as if I really was just doing it so I wouldn't feel alienated. I also had a very good time, and it wasn't a good time because I was pointing others to Christ or drawing closer to the Cross myself. I know I do lots of things that probably don't point people to Christ and I sin in my activities daily. But in the end, I want Christ to be my treasure and my actions be a testament to his worth. I also desire to be used by him for his purposes and to lay down my life for the unreached. However, when I am having a beer with people around a bar and my thoughts aren't on Christ or on loving these people to the end of pointing them to Christ, and I am only enjoying -what in all my estimations is-worldliness, I have trouble feeling I am displaying his worth. I saw and tasted the fleeting pleasures of the sin of worldliness and I know dabbling is not a good idea. That said, as of now, I feel much more comfortable with having a drink at dinner or right after work, but not going out. Please feel free to exhort, and/or share your thoughts and your testimony.

Topic two:
The past two weeks have shown me two big things. The first is that I am a much worse sinner than I thought and I should never take pride in sanctification. I think I thought I was doing pretty good, but the past two weeks when I have had free time I have chosen to waste it watching crappy television (and I hate tv) rather than read a solid book or dive into the Word- the very things that I know bring me real joy. Second, that when you are around people who are seeing and savoring and dying to themselves, it is much easier to do so yourself. It is a testament to the God-given importance of true community.

Topic three:
This past week I was very discontent about the idea of starting my career in KC. It is not a bad place to start, but I have had a feeling that it is inadequate or not good enough if I really want to be elite (whatever that means). As well, I have some sort of desire to get out and do something when I am young that maybe I wouldn't be able to do later in life. I already know that I want to live globally for a at least two years at some point with or near an unreached people group(Lord willing), but this past week I had a real desire to start work in some place like Minneapolis. It would be a good career opportunity because of KPMG's client base there, plus I have heard the downtown is hip place for young people, and I could do The Bethlehem Institute at John Piper's church. How cool would that be? Anyway, I am having trouble discerning if my motives to want to live somewhere else are mostly sinful or if they are good and healthy desires. I know I would be leaving a lot of relationships behind in the KC area and that I would not be able to be a part of a Church plant that I am super excited about. Those are the two main cons to starting somewhere else. Hopefully as the summer unfolds, the Lord will make it more clear what he desires and that I will feel a strong calling to stay in KC or go somewhere else. I will most likely have to make a decision before the end of September, which will dictate many (or at least one) other big decisions. I am very open to thoughts, suggestions and prayers about that as well.

I end this post with a verse since this reflection has been more about life and less about what gives life. Let us cling to this promise:

"...I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit." (Isaiah 58:15)